foxinthestars: Two friends after a fight; Keith is bandaged and Burn offers a hand to help him up. (psychic force cute)
[personal profile] foxinthestars
Today is Gates!

Video on Nico Nico Douga (requires free registration)


===== GATES’S STORY =====

----- Intro -----

Gates was a combat cyborg whose mission was to turn the Psychiccers into good upstanding citizens. For this purpose, he was planning a grand project: the “Forest Camp School Program!” Yes, encounters with Mother Nature were just what young people needed to promote their healthy development.

Gates: Affirmative; preparations complete. Flavoring agents secured. Next mission: secure purchase of meat and vegetables from targets. Hah.

The truth was, Gates just thought it would be fun.

----- Round 1: Psychic Tower -----

Gates: Target confirmed. You will participate in camp!

Brad: Oh, that sounds like fun.

Gates: Your cooperation is appreciated.

Crazy!Brad: I guess you go “camping” by the roadside every night! What’s the matter, Tin Man, get lonely for real live people!? Kya ha ha ha!!

Gates: ...I will terminate you.

(Game)

Gates: Target capture complete. Issuing orders: you are to purchase meat.

----- Round 2: Kokugi-Kan -----

Gates: Target confirmed. Not a Psychiccer but a dangerous element. You will participate in camp!

Genma: What do you mean, “dangerous element”? One who walks the path of the mendicant priest naturally has to beg for charity!

Gates: Hostile response increasing. Extortion of money detected!

Genma: Damn you, you ignorant clod! I’ll just have to get rid of you!

(Game)

Gates: Target capture complete. Issuing orders: old man is to purchase rice.

----- Round 3: Karaoke Box -----

Gates: Target confirmed. You will accompany me to camp.

Wendy: Mister, what is this? Do you want my number...?

Gates: Degenerate thinking detected. Reissuing corrected orders. You will participate in camp!

Wendy: Eww, no way I’m gonna do something dirty like that.

Gates: Target shows no remorse. Will terminate!

(Game)

Gates: Target capture complete. Issuing orders: Wendy is to purchase vegetables.

---- Round 4: Amusement Park -----

Gates: Target confirmed. You will participate in camp!

Sonia: No! Why should I participate in something like that?

Gates: Reason: playing in a place of this kind promotes unhealthy development!

Sonia: I’m just waiting here for Keith-sama!

Gates: ...Understood. Target engages in degenerate male/female relations. Will terminate!

(Game)

Gates: Target capture complete. Issuing orders: you are to assist in purchase of vegetables.

----- Round 5: Convenience Store -----

Burn: Ahahaha! Man, this comic book is too funny!

Gates: Capture the target. Standing and reading without purchase confirmed. Transport offender to camp.

Burn: Camp? You’re gonna make me live by the side of the road, too? How do you do that!? It’s so humiliating!!

Gates: Jeering response approaching maximum... Disengage limiters and terminate with extreme prejudice!

(Game)

Gates: Target capture complete. Burn is appointed person in charge of campfire.

------ Round 6: Psychic Burger -----

Gates: Target detected! Child eating junk food confirmed.

Emilio: Are you saying I can’t have a hamburger...?

Gates: Emotional equilibrium of target unstable. Corrective guidance needed. You will participate in camp!

Emilio: No way! Didn’t anybody ever teach you that children shouldn’t go with strangers?

Gates: Suspending reference to corrective program. I will terminate you!

(Game)

Gates: Target capture complete. Emilio is appointed person in charge of gathering firewood.

----- Round 7: Bay Side Park -----

Gates: Target confirmed. Will transport to camp!

Wong: And what use is that to a rich person like myself? If you’re asking for money, I’m afraid I won’t give you any.

Gates: Target personality defective! Initiate percussive maintenance!

Wong: If we were speaking of a high-class resort, that would be one thing, but camping is simply not a hobby of mine.

Gates: Obnoxious response level exceeding critical threshold! Terminate immediately!

(Game)

Gates: Funding successfully secured... Camp will be held soon.

----- Final Round: Central Building -----

Gates: Target confirmed. Keith, damn you! You will attend camp also!

Keith: I think not. This “wild outdoor life” hardly seems suited to a delicate city type like myself.

Gates: Baby.

Keith: My age has nothing to do with it!

Gates: I am not requesting your birth certificate.* However, further discussion is futile!

(*Translator’s note: what Gates calls Keith is “Aoi,” which is usually the color blue or green but in this context would mean “green” in the broader sense of “young, tender, immature, inexperienced” [it’s also the “babe in the woods” from Brad’s final round]. So far so good, until Keith insists that his aoi-ness/youth has nothing to do with this and Gates replies “I’m not talking about your (aoi/blue) clothes.” The pun doesn’t translate, so I just made something up.)

----- Ending -----

And so Gates’s plan was put into practice as the “Fun Psychic Camp School.” Although they so strongly resisted joining in, everyone seems to enjoy it---to the point that Gates himself is now completely ignored...

Gates: This is within acceptable parameters. After all, I am an unfeeling cyborg. ...That is why even my wife ran away...

Burn: Gates, what are you doing? Come over here!

Wendy: You may not have your wife and daughter, but you’ve got us, right? Cheer up!

Gates: Dammit, you two... I am not lonely!

(CRASH!)

Gates: A pitfall trap... Why you---! I will terminate you all!!



ゲイツ:

Intro:

戦闘サイボーグ、ゲイツ。その使命はサイキッカー達を真人間にする事にある。そのため考案された計画、゛林間キャンプスクールプログラム゛!これは大自然に身を投じる事で、青少年の健全育成を実行するものである。

ゲイツ:鉄板、準備完了。調味料よし。あとは肉、野菜を奴らに買わせて。。。フッ

実は、けっこう楽しそうなゲイツであった。

Round 1: Psychic Tower

ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、キャンプに参加せよ!

ブラド:なんか、面白そうですね。

ゲイツ:素直で結構。

ブラド:てめーキャンプなんて道端で毎日してるだろ!機械が人恋しがんな、ヒャハハ!

ゲイツ:。。。消去する。

(勝負)

ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。指令、肉を買っておけ。

Round 2: Kokugi-Kan

ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、サイキッカーではないが危険、キャンプに参加せよ!

げんま:危険とはなんじゃ。托鉢僧が、道行く者に施しを求めるのは当然のこと!

ゲイツ:敵対反応増大。。。恐喝と判断する!

げんま:おのれええ!わからん奴め、滅してくれようぞ!

(勝負)

ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。指令、おやじ、米を買え。

Round 3: Karaoke-Box

ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、キャンプに同行せよ。

ウェンディー:おじさん何それ~、ナンバのつもり?

ゲイツ:その腐った倫理感。。。繰り返す、キャンプに参加せよ!

ウェンディー:げー、そんなダサいの行ってらんな~い。

ゲイツ:反省の色なし。。。消去すり!

(勝負)

ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。指令、ウェンディーは野菜の買い出し。

Round 4: Amusement Park

ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、キャンプに参加せよ!

ソニア:イヤよ!なんでそんなものに、参加しなくちゃならないの?

ゲイツ:こんな所で遊んでいる奴は不良だからだ!

ソニア:私は、キース様を待ってるだけです!

ゲイツ:。。。では、不純異性交友だな。消去するッ!

(勝負)

ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。指令、野菜の買い出しを手伝え。

Round 5: Convenience Store

バーン:あっはっは、めちゃ面白えな、このマンガ。

ゲイツ:ターゲットを捕捉、立ち読みを確認。キャンプに連行する。

バーン:キャンプ?俺も道端で暮らせってのか?そんな恥ずかしいことできるか!

ゲイツ:バカにしている反応MAX値に接近。。。リミッター解除後、全力で消去する!

(勝負)

ゲイツ:ターゲット捕獲完了。バーン、キャンプファイアー係に任命。

Round 6: Psychic Burger

ゲイツ:ターゲット!買い食いする子供を確認。

エミリオ:僕が、ハンバーガー食べちゃいけないって言うの?

ゲイツ:情緒安定性に問題。指導矯正の必要有り。キャンプに参加せよ!

エミリオ:ヤだよ。知らないおじさんについてっちゃダメって、習わなかった?

ゲイツ:矯正プログラム、検索中止。消去する!

(勝負)

ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。エミリオ、マキ拾い担当に任命。

Round 7: Bay Side Park

ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、これよりキャンプに連行する!

ウオン:おや、お金持ちの私に何の用です?お金ならあげませんよ。

ゲイツ:その性格!叩き直す!

ウオン:高級リゾートならともかくキャンプに行く趣味は、私にはありませんよ。

ゲイツ:性格悪い反応臨界点突破!ただちに消去する!

(勝負)

ゲイツ:資金確保に成功。。。キャンプはもうすぐだ。

Final Round: Central Building

ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、キース!貴様にもキャンプに来てもらうぞ!

キース:断る。ワイルドなアウトドアライフは、繊細な都会派の私の肌に合わんのだ!

ゲイツ:青いな。

キース:青さは関係ない!

ゲイツ:服の事ではないのだが。。。話し合っても無駄か!

Ending:

"楽しいサイキックキャンプ教室゛として、ゲイツの計画は実理した。あんなに参加を嫌がっていたのに、皆、楽しそうだ。ゲイツをのけ者にして。。。

ゲイツ:いいんだ。。。これで。しょせん俺は冷たいサイボーグ。だから妻にも逃げられ。。。

バーン:何やってんだゲイツ、こっち来いよ!

ウェンディー:奥さん娘さんの代りに、あたしたちがいるでしょ?元気出して!

ゲイツ:おまえ達、チクショウ。。。俺は一人じゃないんだ!

(落ちる)

ゲイツ:落とし穴とは。。。貴様ら、全員消去するッ!


I think I need to slacken my pace a little, but I'll be back probably on Monday with Sonia.

The first batch of the dojinshi I was crazy enough to order also arrived today, so I'll have to nose around at those...

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