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Today is Gates!
Video on Nico Nico Douga (requires free registration)
===== GATES’S STORY =====
----- Intro -----
Gates was a combat cyborg whose mission was to turn the Psychiccers into good upstanding citizens. For this purpose, he was planning a grand project: the “Forest Camp School Program!” Yes, encounters with Mother Nature were just what young people needed to promote their healthy development.
Gates: Affirmative; preparations complete. Flavoring agents secured. Next mission: secure purchase of meat and vegetables from targets. Hah.
The truth was, Gates just thought it would be fun.
----- Round 1: Psychic Tower -----
Gates: Target confirmed. You will participate in camp!
Brad: Oh, that sounds like fun.
Gates: Your cooperation is appreciated.
Crazy!Brad: I guess you go “camping” by the roadside every night! What’s the matter, Tin Man, get lonely for real live people!? Kya ha ha ha!!
Gates: ...I will terminate you.
(Game)
Gates: Target capture complete. Issuing orders: you are to purchase meat.
----- Round 2: Kokugi-Kan -----
Gates: Target confirmed. Not a Psychiccer but a dangerous element. You will participate in camp!
Genma: What do you mean, “dangerous element”? One who walks the path of the mendicant priest naturally has to beg for charity!
Gates: Hostile response increasing. Extortion of money detected!
Genma: Damn you, you ignorant clod! I’ll just have to get rid of you!
(Game)
Gates: Target capture complete. Issuing orders: old man is to purchase rice.
----- Round 3: Karaoke Box -----
Gates: Target confirmed. You will accompany me to camp.
Wendy: Mister, what is this? Do you want my number...?
Gates: Degenerate thinking detected. Reissuing corrected orders. You will participate in camp!
Wendy: Eww, no way I’m gonna do something dirty like that.
Gates: Target shows no remorse. Will terminate!
(Game)
Gates: Target capture complete. Issuing orders: Wendy is to purchase vegetables.
---- Round 4: Amusement Park -----
Gates: Target confirmed. You will participate in camp!
Sonia: No! Why should I participate in something like that?
Gates: Reason: playing in a place of this kind promotes unhealthy development!
Sonia: I’m just waiting here for Keith-sama!
Gates: ...Understood. Target engages in degenerate male/female relations. Will terminate!
(Game)
Gates: Target capture complete. Issuing orders: you are to assist in purchase of vegetables.
----- Round 5: Convenience Store -----
Burn: Ahahaha! Man, this comic book is too funny!
Gates: Capture the target. Standing and reading without purchase confirmed. Transport offender to camp.
Burn: Camp? You’re gonna make me live by the side of the road, too? How do you do that!? It’s so humiliating!!
Gates: Jeering response approaching maximum... Disengage limiters and terminate with extreme prejudice!
(Game)
Gates: Target capture complete. Burn is appointed person in charge of campfire.
------ Round 6: Psychic Burger -----
Gates: Target detected! Child eating junk food confirmed.
Emilio: Are you saying I can’t have a hamburger...?
Gates: Emotional equilibrium of target unstable. Corrective guidance needed. You will participate in camp!
Emilio: No way! Didn’t anybody ever teach you that children shouldn’t go with strangers?
Gates: Suspending reference to corrective program. I will terminate you!
(Game)
Gates: Target capture complete. Emilio is appointed person in charge of gathering firewood.
----- Round 7: Bay Side Park -----
Gates: Target confirmed. Will transport to camp!
Wong: And what use is that to a rich person like myself? If you’re asking for money, I’m afraid I won’t give you any.
Gates: Target personality defective! Initiate percussive maintenance!
Wong: If we were speaking of a high-class resort, that would be one thing, but camping is simply not a hobby of mine.
Gates: Obnoxious response level exceeding critical threshold! Terminate immediately!
(Game)
Gates: Funding successfully secured... Camp will be held soon.
----- Final Round: Central Building -----
Gates: Target confirmed. Keith, damn you! You will attend camp also!
Keith: I think not. This “wild outdoor life” hardly seems suited to a delicate city type like myself.
Gates: Baby.
Keith: My age has nothing to do with it!
Gates: I am not requesting your birth certificate.* However, further discussion is futile!
(*Translator’s note: what Gates calls Keith is “Aoi,” which is usually the color blue or green but in this context would mean “green” in the broader sense of “young, tender, immature, inexperienced” [it’s also the “babe in the woods” from Brad’s final round]. So far so good, until Keith insists that his aoi-ness/youth has nothing to do with this and Gates replies “I’m not talking about your (aoi/blue) clothes.” The pun doesn’t translate, so I just made something up.)
----- Ending -----
And so Gates’s plan was put into practice as the “Fun Psychic Camp School.” Although they so strongly resisted joining in, everyone seems to enjoy it---to the point that Gates himself is now completely ignored...
Gates: This is within acceptable parameters. After all, I am an unfeeling cyborg. ...That is why even my wife ran away...
Burn: Gates, what are you doing? Come over here!
Wendy: You may not have your wife and daughter, but you’ve got us, right? Cheer up!
Gates: Dammit, you two... I am not lonely!
(CRASH!)
Gates: A pitfall trap... Why you---! I will terminate you all!!
ゲイツ:
Intro:
戦闘サイボーグ、ゲイツ。その使命はサイキッカー達を真人間にする事にある。そのため考案された計画、゛林間キャンプスクールプログラム゛!これは大自然に身を投じる事で、青少年の健全育成を実行するものである。
ゲイツ:鉄板、準備完了。調味料よし。あとは肉、野菜を奴らに買わせて。。。フッ
実は、けっこう楽しそうなゲイツであった。
Round 1: Psychic Tower
ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、キャンプに参加せよ!
ブラド:なんか、面白そうですね。
ゲイツ:素直で結構。
ブラド:てめーキャンプなんて道端で毎日してるだろ!機械が人恋しがんな、ヒャハハ!
ゲイツ:。。。消去する。
(勝負)
ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。指令、肉を買っておけ。
Round 2: Kokugi-Kan
ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、サイキッカーではないが危険、キャンプに参加せよ!
げんま:危険とはなんじゃ。托鉢僧が、道行く者に施しを求めるのは当然のこと!
ゲイツ:敵対反応増大。。。恐喝と判断する!
げんま:おのれええ!わからん奴め、滅してくれようぞ!
(勝負)
ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。指令、おやじ、米を買え。
Round 3: Karaoke-Box
ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、キャンプに同行せよ。
ウェンディー:おじさん何それ~、ナンバのつもり?
ゲイツ:その腐った倫理感。。。繰り返す、キャンプに参加せよ!
ウェンディー:げー、そんなダサいの行ってらんな~い。
ゲイツ:反省の色なし。。。消去すり!
(勝負)
ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。指令、ウェンディーは野菜の買い出し。
Round 4: Amusement Park
ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、キャンプに参加せよ!
ソニア:イヤよ!なんでそんなものに、参加しなくちゃならないの?
ゲイツ:こんな所で遊んでいる奴は不良だからだ!
ソニア:私は、キース様を待ってるだけです!
ゲイツ:。。。では、不純異性交友だな。消去するッ!
(勝負)
ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。指令、野菜の買い出しを手伝え。
Round 5: Convenience Store
バーン:あっはっは、めちゃ面白えな、このマンガ。
ゲイツ:ターゲットを捕捉、立ち読みを確認。キャンプに連行する。
バーン:キャンプ?俺も道端で暮らせってのか?そんな恥ずかしいことできるか!
ゲイツ:バカにしている反応MAX値に接近。。。リミッター解除後、全力で消去する!
(勝負)
ゲイツ:ターゲット捕獲完了。バーン、キャンプファイアー係に任命。
Round 6: Psychic Burger
ゲイツ:ターゲット!買い食いする子供を確認。
エミリオ:僕が、ハンバーガー食べちゃいけないって言うの?
ゲイツ:情緒安定性に問題。指導矯正の必要有り。キャンプに参加せよ!
エミリオ:ヤだよ。知らないおじさんについてっちゃダメって、習わなかった?
ゲイツ:矯正プログラム、検索中止。消去する!
(勝負)
ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。エミリオ、マキ拾い担当に任命。
Round 7: Bay Side Park
ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、これよりキャンプに連行する!
ウオン:おや、お金持ちの私に何の用です?お金ならあげませんよ。
ゲイツ:その性格!叩き直す!
ウオン:高級リゾートならともかくキャンプに行く趣味は、私にはありませんよ。
ゲイツ:性格悪い反応臨界点突破!ただちに消去する!
(勝負)
ゲイツ:資金確保に成功。。。キャンプはもうすぐだ。
Final Round: Central Building
ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、キース!貴様にもキャンプに来てもらうぞ!
キース:断る。ワイルドなアウトドアライフは、繊細な都会派の私の肌に合わんのだ!
ゲイツ:青いな。
キース:青さは関係ない!
ゲイツ:服の事ではないのだが。。。話し合っても無駄か!
Ending:
"楽しいサイキックキャンプ教室゛として、ゲイツの計画は実理した。あんなに参加を嫌がっていたのに、皆、楽しそうだ。ゲイツをのけ者にして。。。
ゲイツ:いいんだ。。。これで。しょせん俺は冷たいサイボーグ。だから妻にも逃げられ。。。
バーン:何やってんだゲイツ、こっち来いよ!
ウェンディー:奥さん娘さんの代りに、あたしたちがいるでしょ?元気出して!
ゲイツ:おまえ達、チクショウ。。。俺は一人じゃないんだ!
(落ちる)
ゲイツ:落とし穴とは。。。貴様ら、全員消去するッ!
I think I need to slacken my pace a little, but I'll be back probably on Monday with Sonia.
The first batch of the dojinshi I was crazy enough to order also arrived today, so I'll have to nose around at those...
Video on Nico Nico Douga (requires free registration)
===== GATES’S STORY =====
----- Intro -----
Gates was a combat cyborg whose mission was to turn the Psychiccers into good upstanding citizens. For this purpose, he was planning a grand project: the “Forest Camp School Program!” Yes, encounters with Mother Nature were just what young people needed to promote their healthy development.
Gates: Affirmative; preparations complete. Flavoring agents secured. Next mission: secure purchase of meat and vegetables from targets. Hah.
The truth was, Gates just thought it would be fun.
----- Round 1: Psychic Tower -----
Gates: Target confirmed. You will participate in camp!
Brad: Oh, that sounds like fun.
Gates: Your cooperation is appreciated.
Crazy!Brad: I guess you go “camping” by the roadside every night! What’s the matter, Tin Man, get lonely for real live people!? Kya ha ha ha!!
Gates: ...I will terminate you.
(Game)
Gates: Target capture complete. Issuing orders: you are to purchase meat.
----- Round 2: Kokugi-Kan -----
Gates: Target confirmed. Not a Psychiccer but a dangerous element. You will participate in camp!
Genma: What do you mean, “dangerous element”? One who walks the path of the mendicant priest naturally has to beg for charity!
Gates: Hostile response increasing. Extortion of money detected!
Genma: Damn you, you ignorant clod! I’ll just have to get rid of you!
(Game)
Gates: Target capture complete. Issuing orders: old man is to purchase rice.
----- Round 3: Karaoke Box -----
Gates: Target confirmed. You will accompany me to camp.
Wendy: Mister, what is this? Do you want my number...?
Gates: Degenerate thinking detected. Reissuing corrected orders. You will participate in camp!
Wendy: Eww, no way I’m gonna do something dirty like that.
Gates: Target shows no remorse. Will terminate!
(Game)
Gates: Target capture complete. Issuing orders: Wendy is to purchase vegetables.
---- Round 4: Amusement Park -----
Gates: Target confirmed. You will participate in camp!
Sonia: No! Why should I participate in something like that?
Gates: Reason: playing in a place of this kind promotes unhealthy development!
Sonia: I’m just waiting here for Keith-sama!
Gates: ...Understood. Target engages in degenerate male/female relations. Will terminate!
(Game)
Gates: Target capture complete. Issuing orders: you are to assist in purchase of vegetables.
----- Round 5: Convenience Store -----
Burn: Ahahaha! Man, this comic book is too funny!
Gates: Capture the target. Standing and reading without purchase confirmed. Transport offender to camp.
Burn: Camp? You’re gonna make me live by the side of the road, too? How do you do that!? It’s so humiliating!!
Gates: Jeering response approaching maximum... Disengage limiters and terminate with extreme prejudice!
(Game)
Gates: Target capture complete. Burn is appointed person in charge of campfire.
------ Round 6: Psychic Burger -----
Gates: Target detected! Child eating junk food confirmed.
Emilio: Are you saying I can’t have a hamburger...?
Gates: Emotional equilibrium of target unstable. Corrective guidance needed. You will participate in camp!
Emilio: No way! Didn’t anybody ever teach you that children shouldn’t go with strangers?
Gates: Suspending reference to corrective program. I will terminate you!
(Game)
Gates: Target capture complete. Emilio is appointed person in charge of gathering firewood.
----- Round 7: Bay Side Park -----
Gates: Target confirmed. Will transport to camp!
Wong: And what use is that to a rich person like myself? If you’re asking for money, I’m afraid I won’t give you any.
Gates: Target personality defective! Initiate percussive maintenance!
Wong: If we were speaking of a high-class resort, that would be one thing, but camping is simply not a hobby of mine.
Gates: Obnoxious response level exceeding critical threshold! Terminate immediately!
(Game)
Gates: Funding successfully secured... Camp will be held soon.
----- Final Round: Central Building -----
Gates: Target confirmed. Keith, damn you! You will attend camp also!
Keith: I think not. This “wild outdoor life” hardly seems suited to a delicate city type like myself.
Gates: Baby.
Keith: My age has nothing to do with it!
Gates: I am not requesting your birth certificate.* However, further discussion is futile!
(*Translator’s note: what Gates calls Keith is “Aoi,” which is usually the color blue or green but in this context would mean “green” in the broader sense of “young, tender, immature, inexperienced” [it’s also the “babe in the woods” from Brad’s final round]. So far so good, until Keith insists that his aoi-ness/youth has nothing to do with this and Gates replies “I’m not talking about your (aoi/blue) clothes.” The pun doesn’t translate, so I just made something up.)
----- Ending -----
And so Gates’s plan was put into practice as the “Fun Psychic Camp School.” Although they so strongly resisted joining in, everyone seems to enjoy it---to the point that Gates himself is now completely ignored...
Gates: This is within acceptable parameters. After all, I am an unfeeling cyborg. ...That is why even my wife ran away...
Burn: Gates, what are you doing? Come over here!
Wendy: You may not have your wife and daughter, but you’ve got us, right? Cheer up!
Gates: Dammit, you two... I am not lonely!
(CRASH!)
Gates: A pitfall trap... Why you---! I will terminate you all!!
ゲイツ:
Intro:
戦闘サイボーグ、ゲイツ。その使命はサイキッカー達を真人間にする事にある。そのため考案された計画、゛林間キャンプスクールプログラム゛!これは大自然に身を投じる事で、青少年の健全育成を実行するものである。
ゲイツ:鉄板、準備完了。調味料よし。あとは肉、野菜を奴らに買わせて。。。フッ
実は、けっこう楽しそうなゲイツであった。
Round 1: Psychic Tower
ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、キャンプに参加せよ!
ブラド:なんか、面白そうですね。
ゲイツ:素直で結構。
ブラド:てめーキャンプなんて道端で毎日してるだろ!機械が人恋しがんな、ヒャハハ!
ゲイツ:。。。消去する。
(勝負)
ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。指令、肉を買っておけ。
Round 2: Kokugi-Kan
ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、サイキッカーではないが危険、キャンプに参加せよ!
げんま:危険とはなんじゃ。托鉢僧が、道行く者に施しを求めるのは当然のこと!
ゲイツ:敵対反応増大。。。恐喝と判断する!
げんま:おのれええ!わからん奴め、滅してくれようぞ!
(勝負)
ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。指令、おやじ、米を買え。
Round 3: Karaoke-Box
ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、キャンプに同行せよ。
ウェンディー:おじさん何それ~、ナンバのつもり?
ゲイツ:その腐った倫理感。。。繰り返す、キャンプに参加せよ!
ウェンディー:げー、そんなダサいの行ってらんな~い。
ゲイツ:反省の色なし。。。消去すり!
(勝負)
ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。指令、ウェンディーは野菜の買い出し。
Round 4: Amusement Park
ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、キャンプに参加せよ!
ソニア:イヤよ!なんでそんなものに、参加しなくちゃならないの?
ゲイツ:こんな所で遊んでいる奴は不良だからだ!
ソニア:私は、キース様を待ってるだけです!
ゲイツ:。。。では、不純異性交友だな。消去するッ!
(勝負)
ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。指令、野菜の買い出しを手伝え。
Round 5: Convenience Store
バーン:あっはっは、めちゃ面白えな、このマンガ。
ゲイツ:ターゲットを捕捉、立ち読みを確認。キャンプに連行する。
バーン:キャンプ?俺も道端で暮らせってのか?そんな恥ずかしいことできるか!
ゲイツ:バカにしている反応MAX値に接近。。。リミッター解除後、全力で消去する!
(勝負)
ゲイツ:ターゲット捕獲完了。バーン、キャンプファイアー係に任命。
Round 6: Psychic Burger
ゲイツ:ターゲット!買い食いする子供を確認。
エミリオ:僕が、ハンバーガー食べちゃいけないって言うの?
ゲイツ:情緒安定性に問題。指導矯正の必要有り。キャンプに参加せよ!
エミリオ:ヤだよ。知らないおじさんについてっちゃダメって、習わなかった?
ゲイツ:矯正プログラム、検索中止。消去する!
(勝負)
ゲイツ:ターゲット、捕獲完了。エミリオ、マキ拾い担当に任命。
Round 7: Bay Side Park
ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、これよりキャンプに連行する!
ウオン:おや、お金持ちの私に何の用です?お金ならあげませんよ。
ゲイツ:その性格!叩き直す!
ウオン:高級リゾートならともかくキャンプに行く趣味は、私にはありませんよ。
ゲイツ:性格悪い反応臨界点突破!ただちに消去する!
(勝負)
ゲイツ:資金確保に成功。。。キャンプはもうすぐだ。
Final Round: Central Building
ゲイツ:ターゲット確認、キース!貴様にもキャンプに来てもらうぞ!
キース:断る。ワイルドなアウトドアライフは、繊細な都会派の私の肌に合わんのだ!
ゲイツ:青いな。
キース:青さは関係ない!
ゲイツ:服の事ではないのだが。。。話し合っても無駄か!
Ending:
"楽しいサイキックキャンプ教室゛として、ゲイツの計画は実理した。あんなに参加を嫌がっていたのに、皆、楽しそうだ。ゲイツをのけ者にして。。。
ゲイツ:いいんだ。。。これで。しょせん俺は冷たいサイボーグ。だから妻にも逃げられ。。。
バーン:何やってんだゲイツ、こっち来いよ!
ウェンディー:奥さん娘さんの代りに、あたしたちがいるでしょ?元気出して!
ゲイツ:おまえ達、チクショウ。。。俺は一人じゃないんだ!
(落ちる)
ゲイツ:落とし穴とは。。。貴様ら、全員消去するッ!
I think I need to slacken my pace a little, but I'll be back probably on Monday with Sonia.
The first batch of the dojinshi I was crazy enough to order also arrived today, so I'll have to nose around at those...