foxinthestars: cute drawing of a fox (Default)
Okay, that fic I said I had drafted last week --- I think I've done what I can do with it on my own and it's time to ask for (an)other pair(s) of eyes.

The basics:

Word Count: About 10k
Fandom: Akatsuki no Yona --- but the story also heavily involves mental health issues so if someone would be willing to look at it from that angle, I would appreciate it, canon knowledge or no.
Rating: T, I think. (see draft tags for more info)
Desired Harshness: Honest but Gentle; I'm serious about this but I'm also super self-conscious and socially anxious. Framing suggestions as "I" statements seems to help.

The details:

Draft tags and summary under the cut )
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Last night we had hail and were in a tornado watch area.

I also think my anxiety symptoms have been flaring up lately.

How these things play together... )
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Sometimes the internet is good for hauling up those half-remembered fragments of my youth and putting them on YouTube. Well, DailyMotion in this case:

The First Eden: The Mediterranean World and Man by David Attenborough

Link and Thoughts under the cut )
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I just realized, that story I drafted actually covers my HC Bingo challenge stamp. It'll even be done after the deadline, so I can not-have the banner like I wanted.
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Yesterday, I finished a draft of a fanfic!


Next steps involve canon review and searching for betas.


More about writing anxieties... )
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Today while journaling, I found myself wanting a word like "headcanon" but implying less commitment.

What I came up with: "muse-whisper."

I like it; I may have to use it again.

(I mean, I guess I could say "idea" but that's not as pretty.)
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Lately I've been getting back more into anime (at the expense of my previous Zelda-induced swing toward video games but that's a whole other post), and I've been trying to watch like an episode or two per day.

Last season I just stockpiled Natsume Yuujinchou Go without watching it, but I have at last belatedly finished it. And I have to admit, I spent a lot of this season fighting the feeling that the magic was wearing thin. Some of the youkai encounters started to feel formulaic and pointless. There were places I could see them really padding out the manga material to get an episode out of it and it felt poorly-paced. Then at some point in the season they aired the "Nyanko-sensei to Hajimete no Otsukai" OAD and that thing was just so clunky, easily the worst NY ep I've ever seen.  Let's have random children repeat an unfunny schtick! Let's lever in all the regular cast for no reason! (No, candy bars are not a reason.) The season on the whole was still Natsume Yuujinchou, though.  It had its share of misty moments, and I'm still on for Roku coming up.

This season I'm stockpiling Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu, waiting until I get around to re-watching season 1 so I can just watch the whole thing through.

The only current-run thing I am watching? Scum's Wish. Which was totally not on my radar going in, but I am a sucker for this kind of deep emotional exploration (even if I probably relate to it less than some because I'm some flavor of ace and sure as heck never experienced this s**t in high school). I also frankly love how this series is an example of how to do sexual material without being exploitative; the sexual content is relatively heavy (the very first episode shows tongue-kissing and nearly-naked groping and things spiral from there), but the sex scenes in this show are not there to make you hot, they are there to make you cry. That is, the sexual content isn't there to instrumentalize the characters for the viewer in a sexual way but to create intense empathy for the characters' messy and complicated motives. I haven't gotten to watching the latest episode just yet, though. I sort of want to be in the mood for this one.

Something that was on my radar going in was Little Witch Academia, because I did enjoy the original short film but, um. I didn't even get to the TV series; I went to catch up and broke down 10 minutes into the second movie. Turns out the heroine is just too noisy and treads too heavily on my vicarious embarrassment squick to deal with her for more than 26 minutes.  (Adding a funny fat character didn't help, either.)  Well, I'll always have that first film...

And I tried the first episode of Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid and was like "this is fine and all but not worth the energy to stick with." That's a high bar for me these days.

In back-catalog, now that I'm through NY5 I've started on Mawaru Penguindrum, which I've never seen before. From what I hear, I should probably get though it before attempting to say much. (Except perhaps, "He made this in between Utena and Yuri Kuma Arashi? Yeah, I see it.")

Once that's done, I intend to re-watch Uchouten Kazoku to get myself ready for the new season.
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Apparently I'm in the mood to blabber about writing issues.

Fox re-reads old stuff, feels vaguely wistful, thinks about how to get writing done )

One thing that's been really helpful for me getting writing done is social support. During this past Yuletide, [personal profile] ahavah invited me to a Chatzy she runs where they do online write-ins:

Write Now! WonderCabin (no registration required)

So if any of you want to come and write with me, the current write-in times (US Central) are 7-9 pm on Mondays and 10 am - noon on Fridays. I'm looking into scheduling another one, too (probably Wednesday or Thursday at 10 am or 7 pm --- please speak up if you want to come and have a preference).
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(I need to post more often and like, practice actually posting things that come into my head, hence this.)

One of my favorite things about Ao3 probably belongs under the category "pathetically grateful," but I just love having text-formatting options.

Back when I had my own fannish website, I could do it any way I wanted, of course, but I'm comparing to, which I don't despise, but gods dammit, why are you terrified of my typographical choices? AFAIK my old (as in "wrote these in high school") FF6 stories are still sitting on looking like s**t because they stripped the em-dashes and whatever I was using for scene breaks or some such idiocy and I'm too embarrassed to look at the stuff to go back and fix it.


I can use scene-break markers of my own choosing! I picked some of those for reasons! (Fushigi Yuugi: The Mirrorverse uses seven asterisks --- seven stars, 'natch. Seven Year Promise uses seven asterisks if the POV is changing and only one if it's not to suggest a harder or softer break. My Allison & Lillia stuff uses a pattern of asterisks that stands for the two "first generation" couples on either side and their kids not quite meeting yet in the middle.)

I can use blockquotes! I never needed them before, but dang Wear My Fearsome Power looks nicer that way --- being that big sections of it are being read out of a book in-universe and all.

I can make links and not be suspected of being a cyber-terrorist! I tend not to use them in the story itself, but it's so nice to be able to put them in author's notes.

And I can tell Ao3 to insert white space and it ACTUALLY ****ING DOES IT WITHOUT STRIPPING IT OUT. I can use THAT for a scene break if I want! White space was a big high-concept deal in Seven Year Promise of course, but the fic I'm drafting now just has kind of an ending and then a little "hours later" coda and it just feels right to use a longish white space there AND I CAN JUST BECAUSE.

On Ao3. On, nope --- horizontal rulers, that's all you get. (Not that I don't love horizontal rulers but THEY ARE NOT ENOUGH FOR ME.)

So yeah. I'm not down with hate for the most part, but this is why I've declared it a "deprecated mirror" for my work.
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Thank you for signing up for the [community profile] artfeverfest exchange and thank you for making a pretty picture for me! I hope you have fun!

Requests for Akatsuki no Yona, Legend of Zelda, MST3K, Castlevania, Kemono no Souja Erin, Psychic Force, Natsume Yuujinchou )
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My New Years Resolution story is posted and the recipient has had a chance to see it first, so it's time to share!  (And yes, I went a bit crazy with the freeform tags this time.)

Wear My Fearsome Power (5382 words) by foxinthestars
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Impa & Zelda (Legend of Zelda)
Characters: Zelda (Legend of Zelda), Link (Legend of Zelda), Majora (Legend of Zelda), Fierce Deity (Legend of Zelda)
Additional Tags: Framing Story, Legend of Zelda Child Timeline, Angst, Healing, Learning to Live with your Mistakes, allusions to Suicidality but it gets better, Link has leftover trauma from Ocarina of Time, Zelda learns what it's like when your fandom screws with you, Majora and Fierce Deity are more concepts than characters, Spoilers for Majora's Mask including a novelization of the ending, Spoilers for Skyward Sword, Spoilers for Minish Cap, Spoilers for Ocarina of Time, Spoilers for Twilight Princess, Spoilers for Four Swords Adventures, Legends, Blanket Permission

Summary: Each year, Princess Zelda learns a new story about her predecessors and about the Heroes of Hyrule. Her sixteenth birthday brings a story like no other, in which Link faces an enemy like no other: an enemy who can turn the moon against the earth — and turn Link’s own doubts against his very soul. In the end, Link holds the strength to win in his hands, but to wear such fearsome power demands a new kind of courage. mirror

I'm really pleased with how this came out!  Basically I use a frame story to present my interpretation of this (frankly rather trippy) game as a parable about facing disaster and even your own role in disaster without succumbing to despair.

Funny thing about this interpretation, though, as invested in it as I am: I really give the side-eye to all the Zelda merch with the image of Majora's Mask on it.  A symbolic personification of terror, shame, and despair is, like, not my idea of appropriate home decor.

(BTW, while I was messing around on Ao3, I also went through all my works there and tagged/noted my blanket permission policy, which was a nice thing to get done.)

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Netflix is making a Castlevania animated series.  FOR REAL.

Let me just copy/paste what I said to my sister on Facebook, because it pretty much covers it:

"I tend to get territorial and pessimistic about these things, so I admit I'm bracing myself like "this is going to be hard for me to watch" --- but at the same time it's great to see CV getting this kind of spotlight. What I've heard sounds like it's a labor of love, and I respect that whether it's hard on my fannish territory issues or not."


Feb. 7th, 2017 08:20 pm
foxinthestars: cute drawing of a fox (Default)
Well, I'm seeing enough stuff in the tagset that I could offer, so [community profile] artfeverfest should be a go.

On a whim, and having never participated in any kind of bingo fic challenge before, I also requested a card for [community profile] hc_bingo's current Amnesty Challenge.  I've thought of about four different ways I could do it, but I think I'll just shrug it off.  I mean, I don't have a recipient depending on me, the only penalty for default is not getting a banner/achievement, and banners/achievements are a game I'd rather not play anyway.  Most importantly I have stuff of my own to write right now, so I think I'll just call it a harmless whim/exploratory gesture and let it go.  (Maybe bingo doesn't do it for me like exchanges do, but this experience isn't enough to know that yet.)

I also have an eye on [community profile] auexchange and [community profile] parallelsfic this year, but they don't start until summer.

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I've been hearing inner whispers that I should draw lately, so I'm looking at the [community profile] artfeverfest exchange.  I'm working on figuring out my nominations, and if the final tagset isn't too arid w/r/t stuff I'm into, I'll sign up.

(I don't think it's Yuletide's fault that I have a tendency to fall for small-fandom stuff...)
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So at my UU Fellowship, we have monthly themes for reflection, and I lead the Adult Forum about once a month and usually show videos. Lots of TED talks and such, but now and then I take the opportunity to make them watch anime, and there's a month coming up where I'm in the mood again.

The month's theme will probably be "Healing," but it could also be "Character", we haven't quite decided yet.

So, does anybody have any recommendations for episodes that could be viewed on a stand-alone basis and would fit one of those themes? I do have some candidates picked out, but I thought it would be fun to ask, maybe see if there are some good thinky and episodic series I'm missing out on (or something with a good first ep or standalone ep for the purpose). It doesn't even have to be anime, although it would need to be a half hour or less.

My own candidates... )
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While trying to thin out the books on my shelves, I ran across my copy of Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks and Other Outlaws by Kate Bornstein. And I opened it up thinking "Hm, should I keep this?"


If I had more money, I would also give it away because I think I should do that, too. (I don't have the money, though, sorry.)
foxinthestars: cute drawing of a fox (Default)
I want to be audacious but it sounds like scary and lots of work.
foxinthestars: cute drawing of a fox (Default)
Little by little, over several days, I worked my way through this roundtable discussion on collective resistance in sci-fi/fantasy. It's very much worth the read.
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I'm looking for a beta for a fanfic at the moment. It's for an exchange, so I don't want to post details publicly online, and I was thinking "Darn, I don't really know anybody who's into this fandom---"

And then I came up short because I realized I did know a couple of people.

I know them IRL.

So, erm, hitting up RL friends to beta a fanfic for me is a pretty terrifying proposition (hello social anxiety!), but I think I need to do it.

(Although if any of y'all would like to know what I've got and don't know already, um, please drop a line?)

ETA: E-mails to RL friends are sent!

At moments like this, the Golden Rule helps (apostate post-Christian) me as a positive rather than a negative guideline.  "Hm, how would I feel if one of these people e-mailed me to say 'Hey, I wrote a fanfic.  Wanna look at it for me?  If not, that's okay, just when I tried to think of knowledgeable and supportive people, I thought of you'?"  I believe an e-mail like that would make me happy.
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