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Mixed nuts
Mar. 6th, 2014 09:24 pmArgh, it has been so long since I posted---like four months. In some ways I've felt good lately. Getting out more helps when I can manage it, although what really counts is getting out and being around people I feel accepted by (bonus points for doing something constructive together), which at this point practically means doing things with my church crowd, which means a 75-minute drive. Yeah, it's nuts, but it's cheaper than therapy. I've even done petition canvassing to get early voting in my state; I'm too scared to go out by myself and always feel hesitant before I start, but once I'm doing it I'm surprisingly game-faced and it's surprisingly fun.
However, I have, like, actually forgotten how to talk on my own journal in a way that I can't fully describe.
Today was kind of a bad brain day; I went out shopping with Mom and was just kind of fuzzy-headed and vaguely depressed. At one point I declared "bad brain day" and kept telling myself not to take anything that was going through my head too seriously. (Somehow I have had more than usual stress being around Mom lately, like she wears me out...)
Also went out yesterday and, well, lately a lot of pent-up urges to experiment with alcoholic beverages have at last been set free. I'm not worried about becoming an alcoholic; it's more fascination than actually liking to drink the stuff at least so far, but still fun. However, I was having trouble finding a really good place to shop for spirits (Friar Tuck in Peoria kind of spoiled me back in the day; it was beautiful), but yesterday we were also out and visited the nearest Hy-Vee, which is in kind of a tourist-trap town; their liquor section is like a whole store-within-a-store, and it's not Friar Tuck but it is beautiful. They had Saracco Moscato d'Asti (the first wine I ever tasted and still my favorite); they had a whole side of an aisle of just in-state wines; they had mini-bottles (which seem good for indulging idle curiosity about things I know are too hard for me); they had plum wine and sake; they had mead. (I didn't see Tokaj, which I'm curious about for the Dracula connection and I seem to recall Friar Tuck used to have, but I didn't ask, so it's still possible...) I didn't buy anything that day, but it just made me happy walking through it.
(And no, I haven't been drinking this evening, I just forgot how to talk on my own journal, so this seems like a weird post to me, but it's something...)
However, I have, like, actually forgotten how to talk on my own journal in a way that I can't fully describe.
Today was kind of a bad brain day; I went out shopping with Mom and was just kind of fuzzy-headed and vaguely depressed. At one point I declared "bad brain day" and kept telling myself not to take anything that was going through my head too seriously. (Somehow I have had more than usual stress being around Mom lately, like she wears me out...)
Also went out yesterday and, well, lately a lot of pent-up urges to experiment with alcoholic beverages have at last been set free. I'm not worried about becoming an alcoholic; it's more fascination than actually liking to drink the stuff at least so far, but still fun. However, I was having trouble finding a really good place to shop for spirits (Friar Tuck in Peoria kind of spoiled me back in the day; it was beautiful), but yesterday we were also out and visited the nearest Hy-Vee, which is in kind of a tourist-trap town; their liquor section is like a whole store-within-a-store, and it's not Friar Tuck but it is beautiful. They had Saracco Moscato d'Asti (the first wine I ever tasted and still my favorite); they had a whole side of an aisle of just in-state wines; they had mini-bottles (which seem good for indulging idle curiosity about things I know are too hard for me); they had plum wine and sake; they had mead. (I didn't see Tokaj, which I'm curious about for the Dracula connection and I seem to recall Friar Tuck used to have, but I didn't ask, so it's still possible...) I didn't buy anything that day, but it just made me happy walking through it.
(And no, I haven't been drinking this evening, I just forgot how to talk on my own journal, so this seems like a weird post to me, but it's something...)
