A new place

So for reasons none-too-definable I was feeling kind of boxed in on LJ. Plus my LJ bore the name of my old website which I hadn't updated in forever and which was mostly full of now-perhaps-embarassing 'fics that were on FF.net anyway, and to try to untangle it into something I would invest myself in now wasn't worth the hosting money, so I just shut it down (that would be ShiningHalf.com; probably all in the Way Back Machine).

So did I want to pay LJ for a rename ticket just to stay in a place where I felt boxed in? Not really. I started to think a new journal would be the thing, and I'd heard good things about Dreamwidth, so wth, let's give this a whirl.

I will also admit, I went through what was essentially a divorce about a year and a half ago, and pathetic or not, I'm still not completely over it, so that may be part of my problems. I also just kind of felt like prattling on about my fanfic universe or whatever would seem somehow unfashionable or unserious where I was hanging out---not to pin it on any of my friends, that might be quite an unfair assessment of them, but if I felt self-conscious about it, the blockage is still there.

So I decided to make a new journal, where I could prattle about Castlevania and petty things without a care for who (if anyone) reads it and might judge as to how "serious" or "in the loop" I am. Some of my friends I will certainly tell that I've moved, but given the nature of the enterprise I think I want to get myself settled first and not jerk them around until I feel ready.

But that's pretty much the deal; here I am! I even found a theme I liked (although my fox photo icons fit the colors better than my old Oekaki fox pic; I should draw a new one anyway, but I'm in pretty serious writer/artist's block---counterproductive not to admit it or to beat myself up about it...).

To anyone who happens into this, Douzo yoroshiku onegaishimasu!

Chatting a bit more, Christmas

First thing, I don't know her (many apologies if the pronoun is wrong), but branchandroot is by all appearances awesome. She posted the invite code that I used, she made the layout I picked, and when I curiously looked at her journal she was holding forth about the worthiness of fanfic in its own right and the epic fail that is JK Rowling's treatment of the Other. If I wasn't so shy and not still wanting to get myself settled before bringing friends here, I would glomp her. (I did put her on my reading page; OMG she friended me!)

(And then---before she friended me---I went and looked at her profile to make sure as best I could that she wasn't actually my ex. Yes, I am still that fucked up; I finally gave up Lolcats partly out of paranoia that one day it would be her (formerly our) cats there, suspicion of any cats in any house that looked like maybe it could be... I did run into my ex under a new username on LJ recently and had a bit of a meltdown and went running to cry to my sister, and she is part of what's pushing me away from LJ, since we had so many friends in common and trying to disentangle the whole thing is just too much... Maybe giving myself permission to self-defensively hate on her at least for awhile wouldn't have been so bad, but I'm shy about being a bad guy to start with and with mutual friends all around, there wasn't any space for it...)

Anyway, yesterday was Christmas of course, so I thought I'd post about what I got. My high-dollar gift was a Wacom Intuos pad which I had been drooling over for some time. My old Graphire was pretty grubby. With the artist's block, I don't know if I'll be using this as much as I perhaps should, but it's still awesome. I should try out the different nibs in the pen; finding those was like the crowning moment of "this thing is so cool!"

I also got the last game I needed to complete my Metrovania collection (Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin; I still need to finish Ecclesia---taking a hiatus at Dracula's doorstep, not a good thing, but sometimes it goes that way---and play Dawn of Sorrow. I loved Aria so much I really should see those characters' further adventures...). Unfortunately, there was a mixup where Jessie (Sis) got it for me, told Mom, Mom forgot, and I ended up with two copies of it, and I opened the one from Mom first. The Amazon seller Mom got from doesn't have a great return policy either (20% restocking fee at best), so I'll probably just say screw it and trade it in at Hastings or something. Even so, I wasn't too worried about it, I'm just sorry because Jessie felt bad.

Mom also got me Fullmetal Alchemist 21, which I'd been having trouble finding, and a Castlevania necklace like this, plus some candy and stuff. It was nice.

(BTW, I also had been a brat and bought these for myself. You know what I'm obsessed with... It's my OTP and everything! In my fanfic universe, I brought her back from the dead so they could be together and I don't care how cheesy it is!)

I was really more excited about getting things for other people than receiving things, though. I ended up picking out most of the gifts for Mom, including a glass rolling pin and a good pair of shoes (SAS Jewel in Black; I have it in my head that SAS are the best shoes, and when I told the shoe store clerk as much, she just said "Oh, they are."), and she really liked those. Dad liked the DVDs I got him (In Living Color season 1). I got it stuck in my head that I wanted to get Jessie a PSP, and I did, with a memory card and a game (Castlevania Dracula X Chronicles; I've corrupted her with my CV-fannish ways---the necklace made her jealous---and it seems like an obvious choice but actually I went back and forth for a good while about what game to get. If I'd found a copy of the first Disgaea it probably would have been that, but I didn't. Williams Pinball Hall of Fame didn't seem like a good only game to have, and God of War: Chains of Olympus lost out only because I wanted to give it ready to play right away---that turned out not to be possible---and thought Castlevania would be more parent-friendly, especially given that certain thing that always seems to happen toward the beginning of a God of War game...). Getting it for her made me happy, but I worry that I messed it up by being too extravagant and made her feel bad. She has important uses for her money (important to me, too, because I love her and I know how important it is for her) and can't do things like that. I just hope she enjoys it.

All for now!